Tuesday, January 10, 2012

as the world turns

It is an up and down kind of world these days with Mother.

I sit on the edge of her bed in order to get eye to eye contact. It satisfies something in both of us, something that can not be divided, a world of us.

How I miss her.

I seek relationships with women my mother's age. I find myself gravitating toward them, not expecting to replace my mother by any means, but just the comfort of women the age of my mother is, well comforting, like a warm cloak on a cold night.

 This realization first captured my attention when Witt was getting married. One morning I was making the table assignments for the rehearsal dinner and out of the blue an avalanche of extreme sadness washed over me. I was flummoxed with this emotion and the force of its strength. I continued with the task at hand, but my mind and emotions were not synchronized. Then it became necessary for me to make a telephone call to Claires' grandmother to check something about the guest list. After I had hung up from my conversation with her it hit me!  Her place was empty, the sharing of this important memorable event with my mother was not possible and her absence was greatly felt.

My world is not any smaller these days, quite the contrary. It just courses up and down, through and out, sideways and curvy as it turns on its course. I never know what a day may bring but I do know where my hope and strength abide.

This photo was actually taken back in early November, it puts real faces to our world.

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