a boyfriend

 My mother is looking for a boyfriend. She lives in a warped sense of time in her mind, one of being a young girl, one of a marrigeable age. You must understand, she is eighteen years old and men are asking her to marry them.

This bothered me greatly when Daddy was still living. It would have broken his heart, even though he knew "deep down" she was not her normal self.

 It should be easier to bear, since after all, she is now a widow. But I  find myself so disconcerted in my soul. Yet another area of reversal, she is the child while I am the adult.