Friday, March 30, 2012

peering into my day

Quiet here does not mean that it is, even though mother has had some sleepy days lately and that certainly makes it quieter from her end. My favorite quote that gives so much understanding to these cheesecloth days is, "The only thing that is predictable about a day is that it is unpredictable." Sorry. I do not know to whom credit  is due for that statement, but I have some kind of consolatory thought it could be someone taking care of a sick loved one.

She eats less and less. A larger woman in her day, I find rolling her is no longer a physically difficult thing for me to do. Always trying to "read" her, because part of caring for a person with dementia is knowing what they are trying to tell you; sign language with no one ever having written the how-to manual. And her vocabulary is diminishing so the fewer words she speaks mean more. And there are those times she comes up with her own words, "thinasisha wataban."

If we did not laugh at some things if would be unbearable. So is that why sometimes I just feel a need to go into a corner and have a good ol' belly laugh?  And is there anything wrong with that?

Christmas 2004

However, pulling out photos from the past bring such joy.

1 comment:

Lesley Austin said...

Hello Cathy,
I think it is wonderful that you want to laugh sometimes...all the memoirs and caregiving books say it is essential for coping with it all. It seems much healthier than my usual reaction of sadness or discomfort. Although I am grateful for the days when I can smile at something odd or childishly sweet my mom does.

I can identify with all that you wrote today. My mom isn't yet where your mom is, but she is on the path and your watching and "translating" and caring is so familiar.

Wishing you continued strength to bear it all,