Saturday, April 14, 2012

a file to tender

There are those who upon hearing of you providing care for a parent in your home get almost affronted. They do not understand the nature of what is involved with the care of a sick and elderly parent full time and their embarrassment is understandable. The physical care is the first thing they may think of and to them it seems like such work, an adult sized baby needing complete care, changing, cleaning, feeding, turning.

 But truly that is the easy part. I have been "trained" as a CNA, and all it would take is certification to make it official, on the job training. That is the part I can do, it has become automatic, a daily duty of care.

The emotional side affects, however, are gruesome. Recently I realized I had emotionally withdrawn from my mother. It had become too difficult to bear her emotional pain and suffering and I found my heart had developed a huge callus.

Today I prayed the LORD would remove that callus. The journey is her journey and it is mine. Calluses rob the victory in the end. And there is an expected end.

And it will be glorious.

1 comment:

Lesley Austin said...

I so understand, dear Cathy, and struggle with it constantly. I hope that as you bravely open your heart that you are given whatever you need to bear it.