the long goodbye

Night had fallen even with it not being late by the clock's hour. Early darkness is the norm on these short days of December. Alan and I were on our way to visit with mother. Alan, being my most recent college graduate, used the words "the long goodbye" in referring to mother's illness. Today these words are reverberating in my mind just like a scratched record...the long goodbye, the long good bye, the long goodbye...

Because that certainly describes it perfectly.

 Especially the last five years have left us experiencing the loss of my mother with the reality of her physical presence sitting right in front of you. The time has seemed to stretch over a long period of time because the developments of the disease are agonizing as they advance with persistence. But with every visit I find myself wanting to tarry because I know with a surety that the final goodbye will come.