Shadow Pearls

I was not able to convince anyone else to make the trip to the nursing home with me this afternoon. Being New Years Day there were other things to draw them and the weather was gorgeous causing reasons to be outside tops on the list. But truthfully, I like it when I am visiting my mother with no one else along. These are my best times of all with her.

We had to succumb to a daily pain medication for Mother last Wednesday. She was obviously in pain and telling us quite often. The key is to get her comfortable and pain free, but not sedated. She is no longer accounting for any pain, but she is so very confused and rambles more than what has been normal for her as of late. Another meeting is planned for tomorrow to discuss this new issue with the medical staff. I've discovered I must stay on top of her medications. I have educated myself to a degree and I can help make suggestions and refuse those things I know are not personally fitting for her.

Today I tended to her hands.  Mother eats small amounts but what she does manage to feed herself is always with the use of her hands, if not assisted.  The use of eating utensils has become something outside her box of know how for some time now. Her nails become quite untidy, but she does not like for us to clean them sufficiently. The dry skin on her hands builds up too and it takes some serious scrubbing to get them clean. She does not care for any of these administrations and lets you know it.

But after I had applied the clean smelling lotion, I sat on the side of her bed and with our eyes locked and both concentrating, but in entirely different modes, we attempted a conversation. I listened with everything within me to try to understand what she was trying to tell me. Her nouns and verbs might have different meanings and it's a code you must decipher first. Finally I found a common ground. My name and a *Chatty Cathy* doll I was given one Christmas long ago. I rested my head upon her arm and we laughed together, she remembered my name. It felt so good to the both of us!